I bet you know some people you like and think highly of and who appear to be reasonably happy and successful who
did not go to college
did go to college, but that college was “ordinary.”
So, maybe you and your student should ease up a bit.
The ultra-extreme pressure within some families to get into a “great” school can take a toll and even backfire.
Many students, deserving or not, do not end up getting into the college they or you thought they should or would. (And yes, confounding the issue, some undeserving students do get in – we see this every year).
Suppose you have been saying, “My Johnny is Ivy League material” and Johnny does not happen to get into an Ivy. Honestly, that COULD happen, right? After all, in 2007, 1100 kids with perfect 800s on their math SATs were rejected by Harvard (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/04/education/04colleges.html). All those kids probably thought they were going to get in. How is your Johnny going to feel as he heads off to his first day at a mere “ordinary” college? Probably pretty awful – a failure or a disappointment. So unnecessary. So hurtful. So counterproductive.
What we hope is that your student will enter college super excited about the marvelous opportunity she surely has no matter where she ends up going. Making use of that opportunity is up to her. An optimistic, growthy kind of attitude will likely make all the difference. You, more than anyone else in your student’s life, influence that attitude.
Your student can build a great life. “Can” is not “will.” “Can” depends on the person. Your student’s character, initiative, energy, creativity, people skills, venturesomeness, etc. will matter more than going to this or that college. Luck and good health and having caring parents are huge. So, go ahead and try to get into a “great” school, but don’t fall into the trap of seeing that outcome as all-important.